Today is International Women’s Day (though South Africa celebrates their own Women’s Day in August), and for me it is often a time to ponder. My older students tend to say ‘Happy Women’s Day‘ while my younger ones say ‘there is nothing to celebrate if we still need a day for women‘
Personally I fall between the two.
I recognise that women are still discriminated against every single day, even though most of the population does not realise it. Women still earn less, even when doing the same job. They do most of the unpaid labour at home, are still the primary caregivers of children. They do almost all the invisible mental labour. Women’s rights are going backwards in many countries.
I have had to explain several times to my husband that he does not live in the same world as I do. He can catch the subway at midnight or walk on dodgy streets without having to look over his shoulder and clutch his bag more tightly. He does not feel fear when drunk or mentally ill people hassle him. He is physically more imposing than I am and his voice has a sound of authority that mine does not have. Predatory people don’t approach men and women in the same way. The life of a woman is not the same as the life of a man.
On the plus side, women HAVE come a long way. We have broken the glass ceiling in many professions, we now have the independence and economic power to divorce instead of staying in an unhappy marriage (about 70% of divorces are initiated by women). We are not automatically expected to be homemakers and mothers.
When I wanted to buy my first house in 1984, I was not allowed to sign a mortgage. At that time, only married women could take a home loan. And only if their husband signed it. Even if the woman was paying. If you became pregnant and were not married, you were not covered by medical insurance. I was routinely sexually harrassed by male coworkers, as were all my female colleagues. It was seen as part of the job. Never mind that you may just have been friendly, or wanted to dress nicely. Everything was seen as a come-on. Luckily the #metoo movement put paid to most of that. It exposed the awful underbelly of sexual abuse and harassment, particularly in the workplace.
Weighing things up, however, I sometimes wonder if women can have it all. All Swedish women work. The system is designed with two-year parental leave, almost free daycare, free education, and flexible working hours. Parents tend to share the picking up and dropping off at daycare and cooking/cleaning duties. But still women do most of the unpaid labour at home and the mental labour at home and work. They are the ones who remember birthdays, do the dentist appointments, make sure sports clothes are clean, arrange schedules. I have asked several female students why that is and they say they think it is a combination of biological imperative (women are still gatherers who multitask, and men are focused hunters) and the fact that it is expected of them, even today.
What do you think?